What I Wish I Knew Before Reading My First Spicy Romance

No one warned me that I would be fanning myself at 2am while I was reading my Kindle as I was pushing it's battery life to it's limits because I need JUST ONE MORE CHAPTER.

Okay, to be honest, when I read my first 'spicy' romance. I didn't know that was the type of book that I was reading until after the fact..I thought it was just a cutesy love book with a little thrill to it. I was very very wrong.

Then I had to question if I liked the book for the writing and the storyline or if it was the spiciness...

(Spoiler alert: It was both)

I have always been a lover of a thriller type of book, and then you add a bit of romance and spice. GIRL, I was hooked.

Now I know your first thought goes right to '50 Shades of Grey'. Stop right there, that book was not a good representation of this genre. You can't use that as a reference, pretend that book doesn't even exist and go in with an open mind.

If you have stumbled across booktok and have thought about giving a spicy book a try, this is your sign to do it! Stick around and I will go over some things that would have been nice to know before I read my first one. I know it may seem a little uncomfortable and intimate at first, I promise you'll be fine! Let's dive in, shall we!

Spice ratings and terms are a whole new language

Spice Level

If you watch videos of people rating books they will give it a spice level. That just refers to how smutty and steamy some of the romance scenes are. Two things to keep in mind with that, everyone will have their own rating scale. The more you watch someone, the more you will get a gage on how they rate things. Second, everyone will view the steaminess differently. When you are new to the genre, you will think any basic scene would be pretty spicy. Once you are a seasoned smut reader, your levels will definitely change. (Especially if you join the dark side, but we'll get into that a bit more later)

For example, you might see the chili pepper scale like this..

🌶️ = sweet/flirty, 🌶️🌶️ = mild spice, 🌶️🌶️🌶️ = hot and detailed, 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️+ = don’t read this on public transportation.

So before you dive in, figure out how many chili peppers you’re ready to handle. Because trust me, there’s a big difference between a one-pepper slow burn and a five-pepper ‘why is my Kindle overheating?’ kind of night.

(Not an official rating tool, but extremely helpful to know before you start your next read)

Smutty Lingo

Now there is going to be a ton of different slang that you will learn as you go. I will go over a few of the main ones to get you started.

Smut- the term used for explicit romance in a book. Can be interchanged with spice or steam.

Closed Door / Fade to Black - The scene cuts away before anything graphic.

Trope - the main type of story, this is a pretty broad term. This could be things like : enemies to lovers, mafia, sports, reverse harem, slow burn..

On-Page vs. Off-Page -Whether intimacy is shown directly to the reader or left to imagination

Slow Burn - Characters take forever to get together, but the payoff is fiery.

Forced Proximity - Stuck together (snowed in, one bed, etc.) → inevitable sparks.

Enemies to Lovers - They hate each other… until they don’t.

Reverse Harem (RH) - Main character doesn’t pick one love interest, has multiple partners.

Book Boyfriend / Book Girlfriend → The dreamy love interest that ruins real-life dating standards (and yes you will have one, or many..) and this brings me to my next point.

Unrealistic Book Boyfriends Are Part of the Deal

You laugh now, but these books are designed for you to fall in love with the characters. It may be a love/hate situation but you still love them. You can ask yourself "How do they expect me to fall in love with the crazy stalker guy that just beat up a random guy in the bar bathroom because he looked at this girl that he doesn't even know wrong?" Hunny, prepare to be amazed!

These authors write these men to do all these things that we wish our men would do in real life but they don't. Prepare yourself to have realistic expectations for your husband after you finish your next book. He is not going to write you a love letter and run you a bath while be brings you a glass of wine and rubs your shoulders. It's just not going to happen, unfortunately.

Tropes

Back to tropes because this is a big one. Definitely try out different ones and see what you gravitate towards. You're not going to vibe with all of them, and that's okay! That's why there are so many to pick from. Some of the most common ones would be enemies-to-lovers, forced proximity, fake dating, arranged marriage, mafia, sports.. you get the picture. This is the basis of the storyline for your book. Most will come right out and say what kind it is in the description but you can usually just read the overview and figure it out pretty quick.

Me personally, I don't really love the slow burns but I will NEVER say no to a good mafia romance. 😉

Once you find ones that you like, you will hunt those babies down! You will start collecting those like Pokemon and you won't even realize until it's too late.

Read in public at your own risk

Especially the popular ones, people will know what you are reading if you are out in public. The booktok girlies are everywhere! This would be a good time to choose a less conspicuous book or try out an e-reader like an Amazon Kindle. If you want some more information about Kindles, I have a post comparing the different models. Click here to head over to that one once you're done here.

It’s Okay If You’re Not Into It (Or If You Are A Lot Into It)

Spicy books are basically the hot sauce of the book world—you get to decide how much heat you can handle. Some readers are perfectly happy with a sweet little kiss and a fade-to-black, while others are like, “give me five peppers and a fan, please.” And honestly? Both are totally valid. If you crack open a scene and it feels like too much, skip it—no shame girl, no one is keeping score. And if you find yourself bookmarking that one chapter to revisit later… also no shame, no judgment (we’ve all been there). The best part is, there’s no “right” way to read romance—just the way that makes you happiest.

To sum it all up

And that’s the crash course I wish I had before I cracked open my first spicy romance. At the end of the day, these books are meant to be fun—whether you’re here for a sweet blush, a full-blown fan-yourself moment, or just the guilty giggles when you realize your Kindle is spicier than your group chat. The only warning I’ll leave you with? A lot of women say that once they started reading spice, things in their marriage suddenly got… interesting. I’ll let you connect the dots on that one 😉.